pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
