Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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