we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
