Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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