I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Are my feet made of real feet?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
