garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
