you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
