JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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