I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
