I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
