Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
