We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
