the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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