smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
