Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
