let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize