No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
