Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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