If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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