My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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