What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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