You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
