i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Ketchup is God's man juice
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
