So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I take back everything I said about communal showers
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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