I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just want to make out with him forever
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize