I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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