oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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