he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize