just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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