Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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