I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Randomize
