you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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