She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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