i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
