It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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