i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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