There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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