We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
