I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You need Xanax blowdarts
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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