i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
