Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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