Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
