If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
