I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
