That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
