i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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