things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
