I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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