i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
