***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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