i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
