i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
