Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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