Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
