I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
