If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
