Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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