Where is the hickey?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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