As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
